Marriage Guidelines
We are happy to share our beautiful church with you on the occasion of a most important day in your lives when you accept from God his blessing in the Sacrament of Matrimony. Weddings are special and joyous times for brides and grooms, for their families and friends, and for the parish community. The new beginning, the love, the promise and the hope that weddings signify for us make their celebration a special and grace-filled time. The Church welcomes its members to celebrate and solemnize their weddings in the context of our prayer as Catholics. Indeed, so important is the Marriage in Catholic life that its called a Sacrament.
Great care is taken to see that the liturgy for this special moment is reverent, graceful, beautiful, and open to the movement of God's spirit among us. Our sacramental celebrations are incomplete unless they are filled with song, with prayerful gestures and with the silence of which we hear the voice of God in our lives.
In this spirit, the parish of Sacred Heart provides the following guidelines for celebrating weddings in the building which shelters the prayer of our community. Please take the time to read it thoroughly.
Generally speaking, all parishioners are welcome to celebrate their weddings at Sacred Heart. Parishioner means someone who has been registered with the parish office and has been actively and verifiably participating (usually via envelopes) at Sacred Heart for a minimum of 1 year prior to the initial contact with the parish office
All others are considered non-parishioners. Roman Catholic (at least one must be Catholic) non-parishioners are also welcome to use the parish church for their weddings, however they must secure their own priest or deacon (usually from their home parish) and obtain a written commitment (we have a form available) stating that he will do the necessary marriage preparation and paperwork, as well as perform the ceremony. A deacon can be the sole presider of a marriage ceremony and can assist at a nuptial Mass. After recieving your priest's or deacon's written commitment, please call our parish office to schedule a wedding date.
In the Diocese of San Diego, couples are expected to contact the priest or deacon who will prepare them for marriag at least nine months
prior to the date they hope to celebrate their wedding. This time is important in order to complete the necessary pre-matitial preparations and to develop
with the priest or deacon who will assist you with your preparations and/or preside preside at your wedding celebration.
Arrangements for setting the date and time of marriage cannot be made until you have met with the priest/deacon who will conduct the wedding ceremony.
It is the responsibility of the engaged couple to secure a tentative date with the church before making commitments with; caterers,
reception halls, etc. Only the pastor or a designated member of the parish staff may book a tentative date.
The reservation of the church will be confirmed upon receipt of:
The wedding itself remains tentative until all marriage preparation requirements are completed. If there is a pronounced lack of interest in working towards completing the requirements, Sacred Heart reserves the right to cancel the wedding after providing notice to the couple of the lack of sufficient progress.
Weddings at Sacred Heart are celebrated on Saturdays at 11am and at 2pm. Weddings may not be celebrated on Sundays.
Rehearsals are held at 3 or 4pm on either Thursday or Friday, depending on availability. It is advisable to schedule your rehearsal date on the parish master calendar as early as possible.
Our rehearsal coordinator is Ms. Delphine Malone, 1040 Olive Avenue, Coronado, Ca 92118. Phone: (619) 435-3631.
Only those participating in the wedding ceremony should attend the rehearsal, which is conducted by our parish rehearsal coordinator. If a visiting priest/deacon is the presider for your wedding, he must be present at the rehearsal.
If you are hiring a professional wedding coordinator, please ask him/her to contact our parish rehearsal coordinator to discuss details and be advised of our parish guidelines.
All rehearsals and weddings must start on time. Please advise your wedding party of this important requirement.
Please note that there are certain times in the Church year when the liturgical calendar discourages the celebration of weddings.
In particular, these are;
Each engaged couple must meet with their priest or deacon to fill out various papers. This is part of the process of determining your freedom to marry in the Church and of registering your marriage in the parish records. To celebrate your marriage in the Church, the following documents will be needed:
- A completed Prenuptial Examination Form
(A questionnaire filled out in the presence of a priest or deacon) - A Statement of Freedom to Marry
In the presence of a priest or deacon, this form is to be filled out by parents (if living), or by a close relative who can attest to your freedom to marry. - A certificate of completion from the Pre-Cana Conference and a certificate of completion from either Engaged Encounter Weekend, or Evenings for the Engaged.
- A valid California Marriage License (effective for 90 days from date of issuance). In San Diego, the license can be obtained at the Marriage License Bureau, County Clerks Office, 1600 Pacific Highway, Room #273, or at 9225 Clairemont Mesa Blvd.
The offering for the church is:
A non-refundable deposit of $100 is required at the time the wedding date is set.
The balance is due no later than 1 month before the wedding. Offerings/payments for the church should be made payable to Sacred Heart Church.
In the Diocese of San Diego, the offering for a wedding is placed in the general operating expenses of the parish at which the wedding is performed. It is not retained by the presiding celebrant. While a priest or deacon does not set a fee for his services, you may wish to provide an honorarium appropriate for the occasion.
If both parties are Catholic, the marriage may be celebrated within Mass, and is called a Nuptial Mass. The Rite of Marriage alone is called a marriage ceremony; this takes approximately 30 minutes. If the ceremony is to include the Eucharistic liturgy, a unity candle lighting, a flower ceremony, etc., additional time will be required. Please discuss with the priest any special or cultural customs you plan to include.
You a encouraged to "personalize" your marriage ceremony by choosing the prayers and scripture readings you wish to have read at the ceremony. The booklet, Together for Life, will be given to you to help facilitate your choices. Use the worksheet provided in the booklet to itemize all the prayer, scripture, and music choices you make, and plan on giving a completed copy of the worksheet to the priest/deacon who is working with you.
Our beautiful church does not require many flowers or plants and space is somewhat limited. The furniture in the sanctuary is to remain in place. Additional furniture (wicker, kneelers, arches, planters, etc.) may not be added.
The following are considered to be inappropriate for use: artificial flowers or plants, electric candles, candle bras, balloons or caged birds. We also do not permit the use of columns or pillars, live or artificial trees, nor the use of asparagus fern in arrangements.
Any decorations attached to the end of the pews must be attached with string or hung carefully with coated or wrapped wire. Tacks, staples or tape of any kind may not be used to attach decorations to the pews.
No garland, ribbon or cloth may be suspended from pew to pew as this inhibits the movement of guests in the case of an emergency.
Aisle runners are not allowed due to the risk of injury.
During the Octave of Easter, a baptismal font is set in place in front of the sanctuary, and cannot be moved.
All preparations and setup must be completed, and trimmings and equipment removed no later than twenty (20) minutes prior to the ceremony. If a wedding precedes yours, your florist may not remove the previous wedding's floral arrangements until the members of the previous wedding have vacated the sanctuary.
Your florist or a designated member of your wedding party is responsible for the removal of all your decorations from the church after the ceremony. If you wish to leave the floral arrangements for the weekend Masses, please feel free to do so. These guidelines are itemized on a contract (form included) which should be presented to your florist at the time they are hired by you. A completed, signed copy must be returned to Sacred Heart, to the attention of the parish secretary, no later than a month before the wedding.
To assure that every wedding at Sacred Heart is not only memorable, but maintains a sense of dignity and reverence, we ask that all photographers and videographers be informed of and agree to abide by Sacred Heart's policies regarding the performance of their craft at the church. The ....
No photographer/videographer will be permitted to work at Sacred Heart unless they have completed, signed and returned a copy of the contract and it has been received by the parish secretary.
Music plays an important part in all liturgies and should be in harmony with and in support of the words, symbols and gestures of the wedding liturgy. We are, first and foremost praising God, and all musical selections, particularly vocal pieces, must be evaluated as to whether they fulfill this purpose. This means that the majority of popular love songs are simply not appropriate to the setting of a Catholic wedding. In addition, the over-used and heavily-parodied "traditional" processional ("Here Comes the Bride.") and recessional (Mendelssohn’s "Wedding March") are no longer used in the Diocese of San Diego, and Sacred Heart Church follows that directive.
Please consult with our Director of Music, Mrs. Hollace (Holly) Jones, regarding your selections. Her office number is (619) 435-3167, ext 310, and her email address is music@sacredheartcor.org.
All alternative musicians and their musical selections must be approved by the Director of Music well in advance of your wedding date in order to avoid any misunderstandings or last minute disappointments. Sacred Heart Church reserves the right to deny the use of inappropiate musical selections. With this in mind, it is important to note that all music must be "live"; taped music or "karaoke" systems are inappropriate and may not be used.
For weddings using organ, it is expected that the Director of Music at Sacred Heart will be hired as organist. Piano is also an option. In the event the Director is unavailable, competent alternatives will be suggested. Sacred Heart has a number of fine singers in several voice categories available for use as cantors/soloists.
Musicians' fees are independent of the church's fee and are paid directly to the musicians. Any concerns you have regarding fees should be discussed with our director of Music. Payment should be made at the music-planning appointment, but no later than three (3) months prior to the wedding.
Congregational participation, both speaking and singing, ir very important to the liturgy. For that reason, we strongly encourage the use of a cantor, and a printed worship aid (program) to enable your guests to participate fully.
It is important that all who plan on celebrating their wedding at Sacred Heart Church realize that they have not simply rented a building for their personal use. Rather, they have been given the opportunity by a specific community of faith to share their worship space with you on your special day. For this reason, we ask that you respectfully comply with the guidelines outlined here. Remember that these guidelines are intended to insure a reverent and joyful celebration of marriage within the context of the Church's prayer.
Know that it is our sincere desire to work together with you in making your celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage a meaningful, enjoyable and memorable one. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to send an email to secretary@sacredheartcor.org. Thank you!